Healing the Rift

Lately I've been feeling a bit of a disconnect between myself and this wonderful earth that God created for us. I remember that I used to feel such gratitude and awe every time I stepped outside. I remember that I used to want to step outside. Lately not so much. I know that there are several factors that have contributed to this shift inside me. Things like my very close family moving very far away and being a tired drained mother of three young boys under the age of five. Frankly going outside got to be almost more work than I could bear, especially when it it was very cold and dark.




I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I've been thinking about my health and well-being, spiritually and physically. I've been thinking about how closely they are tied together and about how closely I am tied to the earth as one of God's creations. I think that my gradual and mostly unintended shift away from something I used to get such joy from has affected me more than I ever thought it could.




And so I am determined to reconnect and start to heal the rift. I want to feel that awe and immense gratitude again. I want to feel smaller because I am part of something so much larger than myself but also infinitely important to Him because He created and loves me. It might seem simple or unimportant but I know that by coming to re-love and reconnect with nature and the earth I will restore some of the vitality and well-being that I have felt slip away in recent months.




And so I'm committing to myself to step outside everyday. To just walk, even for a few minutes. No matter what the weather is. I'm going to just bundle up my boys(even though it's like an aerobic workout and takes 20 minutes) and go outside. Because they need to too. I want my boys to come to feel the same awe and gratitude that I have in the past and they never will unless I teach them to feel and see it.




I'm also going to take my camera with me and try to capture some of the beauty I find. Like this first bud I found today with my family. After watching LDS General Conference sessions we drove down the Seward Highway to one of our favorite places called Sunshine Ridge.




It's right off the highway and overlooks the Cook Inlet that is full of swirling ice chunks trying to decide if it's spring or not. The boys loved jumping in, on, and off the tumbled rocks. There was lots of slipping on snow patches and tripping over rocks and we did gather a few scraps and cuts as proof of our adventure.




It was so much fun. But I expected it would be. The boys loved it. But I thought they would. What I didn't expect was the way I felt when I stepped out of the car onto the frozen muddy rocks. I felt like I was coming home. Home to a part of me that was missing for a while. I'm so glad I found it.