I started a new chapter in my life this morning. I'm calling it My-Life-As-
A-Temporary-Single
-Mom-And-Wife. Catchy isn't it? We took John to the airport this morning and boy was it hard. I've been preparing myself for 3 weeks now, but I still felt like throwing myself on the tarmac and kicking and screaming up a good toddler-size tantrum for all to see. I felt like it, but I didn't. I did cry and hold onto him for dear life while he hugged me good-bye though. After I was mostly composed he kissed me gently and turned to say good-bye to our three sons. John talked to Zander the other day about being a "big boy" for mom while daddy was gone to which he answered worriedly, "But Daddy, I don't know if I can be that big of a boy." There at the airport Zander's eyes were red-rimmed from crying, but he tried so hard to be brave when John hugged and kissed him goodbye. Then John turned to Asher and Asher threw the tantrum that I wished I could. He was kicking and screaming at the top of his voice, "I don't want Daddy to go on the airplane! NO! NO! I go on the airplane TOO! No go on the airplane Daddy!" So then I went from mostly-composed to not-so-composed. I was surprised by the sensitivity and strength of the emotions coming from such little bodies. I guess I hadn't done such a good job hiding my anxiety and fear from them over the last few weeks of my "mental prep." Well it was now time to buck up and be brave like my sweet Zander-Man. So I turned off the faucet known as my eyeballs, and put on a smile for my hard-working best friend. After all he wasn't going to war right? Well my hat's off to all the soldier wives out there cause I know I couldn't hack it. I'm still missing him so much my heart hurts, but I'm going to be braver and stronger than I ever thought I could be.
6 comments:
Trachelle, you can do it!! It was the hardest thing i ever had to do, and i do not wish it on anyone. Steve was gone for 17 weeks. But the cool thing is that i did it. I got through it much better then i expected. I am stronger for it and i know you will be too. YOu will also really appreciate John when he comes back even more and make that extra time to spend with him. YOu can do it!!!! call me if you need anything. 208-757-2491
You can do this. You are a strong woman! and mom! My heart aches for you when I was reading that, but isn't it going to be better than Fed Ex! Think of the discount!
You can do it! I was thinking of the song they sing in Cinderella when the mice make the dress. At least I think that is the song that was running through my head as I was reading your post. You know my dad, mom, Andy, and Emily will be there in a heart beat if you need anything. The first two weeks will be the hardest I am sure, and once you get into your own rhythm, it will go by faster. I have had to learn that with Dave's schedule. He is here at random times, but nothing that you can rely on like the past. You learn to rely on yourself more and you learn more about yourself and your own decision making skills. And, YOU WILL BE TIRED!!! So go to bed early. There is my bit of advice! Call me when you get bored of little boy talk.
Good luck, trachelly! I know you and the boys will miss him like crazy. I hope things go smoothly for you at home while he's gone, although I can't imagine how tough it would be by yourself with three little boys to take care of...but I know you can do it because you're tough. Lots of love to you, girl, and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
I just had to stop and say thanks so much to all of you for your kind words and advice. Ya'll are the BEST!
Well your blog made me CRY too!!! You are a super strong women, wife and Mom Trachelle and I know you can do this!! I'll call you at nights when it might be harder for you. I love you tons!!!!
Post a Comment