The past few months have been a bit of a struggle for me. What exactly is the cause of this struggle isn't always clear to me but sometimes I have a moment of clarity usually through prayer or others(thank-you others.*smile*). These moments of clarity usually lead to realizing some small change I can make in myself to fight the struggle.
I tend to be an all or nothing person. This can be wonderful because when I find something that is wholesome and good and I feel like I can do it I give it everything I have. It can also be paralyzing because if I don't feel that I can do it all the way, I don't do it at all. That is a problem. Especially because so many good things must be done a little at a time over a long period of time.
Most days I get going in my routine of giving everything to a limited number of relationships, work, goals, ect. and then don't have enough left over for those relationships, tasks, and goals that require a little over a long time. Over time I think that in general I'm the one that misses out the most. I miss a lot of moments. Quiet moments, joyful moments, even sorrowful moments. Most of these moments I miss are ones with my children. And I'll never get them back.
But there are many happening right now, today that I don't have to miss. If I just slow down and try to give a little of my time and myself over a long period of time I won't miss so many moments. I'm learning slowly and sometimes painfully that it doesn't always have to be all or nothing.
Sometimes it can be just sitting on the floor watching them play for 5 minutes. I don't have the time or the inclination to spend 2 hours building train tracks but does that mean I can't be on the floor watching and building at all? I'm learning that no, it doesn't have to be that way. Even 5 or 10 minutes everyday can be enough over time, over a lifetime. It's much better than nothing at all.
Look at that smile. Can you believe I might have missed it?
Love,
A Recovering All or Nothinger
A Recovering All or Nothinger
10 comments:
Hello my little Bumblebee, I think as "stay at home moms" we are always reinventing ourselves. There are many facets to us , as women. We are our own boss at home and the needs are always being redefined. The ages of our children and their needs are always changing. Therefore, we are looking for the best way to fulfill our responsibilities and duty to them and to everyone else. Don't be hard on yourself, my little sweetheart. I know it's easier said than done. You are an amazing woman. Way ahead of me at the same age. You are so good. I’m glad we were able to talk in more detail on the phone last week. It's a hard job. So many women won't do it anymore. The Lord knew and trusted us, so here we are one step at a time. As your mom, know that I am proud of you. Know that you are loved and deeply cared for by me and your dad. AS moms, we never give up; we keep growing with the times. I love to see my children and others succeed in life. Heaven knows there are many that want to drag us down. I’m always in your corner. So whatever it takes. I love you..... Your mama p.s. I miss my little ones so much, but the pixs are so sweet and cute... THANKS
Beautiful!! Thank you!
Thanks Trachelle for letting me take a view in your world. Those are some sweet quiet time pictures. I often find myself being too task oriented and telling myself that after I get the list done, I'll sit down with my kids, only to realized the oppurtunity is lost.
You are right. Taking a few minutes here and there makes a big difference. I know when I do, I feel happier about myself as a mom.
I can be an ALL or NOTHING person too. What a great post!! I have to recognize that balance is more important than I even know! I'm right there with you, trying to take it all in and trying not to miss too much along the way!!
I still struggle w/the "all or nothing syndrome" and I have missed many quiet moments in the past and now, but the fact that I realize it helps me SLOW down and catch some of those MOMENTS. My children are older now and realize how I am but above all else they know I LOVE them so at the end of the day that helps me love MYSELF. ;)
Trachelle, you are an amazing mom! I miss you so much! Thankyou for being my sister and teaching me how to be a better person. I love you.
I HEAR YA!! Just this week I have been so annoyed with Andrew bugging me all the time to do stuff for and with him. FINALLY I decided, you know what, to him me playing with him is his world. For me, I can take a break from life for a second and make his world! I wish these cousins lived closer! That is for sure.
@Becky
Hey thanks for sharing that, lady. I always wonder if I'm the only mom that feels annoyed with that stuff sometimes.
I like how you put that, we are the world to our children and that feels good.
Thank-you all for your amazing validation and support. Putting these kinds of thoughts and feelings out there for all to know is a bit scary. Your kind comments and acknowledgment of your similar struggles truly strengthens and comforts me.
I laughed, I cried, I paused for reflection...thank you! you are very brave, I love and admire you..thank you for sharing your wisdom.
ps...I love, love, love what you have done with your site...very simple, yet sophisticated...I think professional is the perfect description.
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