like reading it for the first time

So I'm a member of the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints or a Mormon. Have been my whole life. As a Mormon I have read the Book of Mormon several times, as a child, as a teenager, as a family, some of it while I was in college(BOM class at BYU). Faith and my testimony in almost all areas of the gospel has always come very easily for me. Reading the scriptures including the Book of Mormon? Not so easy for me.

As a teenager after reading the Book of Mormon I prayed about it's truthfulness and knew that it was true(again the faith part comes pretty easily to me). But honestly I did not like reading the scriptures. Not at all. Boring and confusing. And there are soooo many things I would rather be reading. So I have been a mother for almost 7 years and haven't read the Book of Mormon again(all the way through). Couldn't really get past second Nephi.

So last spring my good friend Kristi and I were talking about my scripture reading challenges and she suggested that I try reading the whole Book of Mormon really fast. Like in a month. She had tried it and had been so blessed in so many ways because of her efforts. She said that there were many nights when she found herself turning off the computer at midnight and didn't want to read but realized that she had just spent the last 4 hours blogging or playing on the internets and that she should be willing to give a half hour of her time to the Lord by reading the Book of Mormon.

Well, that twinged in my heart a teeny bit. I figured that I would need to read 17 pages a day to finish it in one month and decided to give it a try. After several days of reading 17 pages I decided to scale it down to 10 pages a day to simplify things and then it would take me about 2 months to finish. I just finished reading the whole Book of Mormon last week. So it took me about six months instead of two. But can I just tell you how much it has changed me and blessed my life? So much. In so many ways.

First I found a time and place that I love to read it: early morning in the shower. Yes, in the shower. The shower has always been where I pray anyway, quiet and warm you know? So I thought why not the Book of Mormon? I read other books in the shower all the time. I picked up an inexpensive soft cover Book of Mormon at a Primary activity and fell in love.

Then I found that by reading it 10 pages at a time instead of a chapter at a time it made a lot more sense. I started to put together the chronological order of things and realized that the Jaredites were brought to the promised land before the Nephites! No, I did not realize this before. Normally small bites are perfect for swallowing information, but for me the Book of Mormon requires large consistent bites to make sense.

You know that burning you get inside your mind when your about to lose it? About to let the anger and yelling just burst forth all over your kids and husband like hot liquid lava? Well, on the days that I read the scriptures the burning slows and quiets. It slows down enough that I can think more clearly and hear more clearly. It helps me hear those little whispers from the Holy Ghost a bit more loudly. My patience for all the many needs of my wee ones expands and multiplies around me when I read the Book of Mormon. And the sometimes strangling grasp of distraction, discouragement, and despair loosens and looses strength every time I read from those sacred pages.

You know what else? I found my favorite scripture. Never really had one before. This scripture will be my personal mission statement in the coming months and years.

Ether 12:27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

There is such hope in those words for me. Hope in realizing that these things I struggle with can be made strong. Hope in knowing that I have weaknesses because God gave them to me to keep me humble not because I am fundamentally flawed. Hope in knowing that I have a Savior who loves me and shows me with His sufficient grace. And that, friends, is why this time when I read the Book of Mormon it was like reading it for the first time.